One Wish

If I could have one wish granted

one wish out of one thousand,

It would be to share a sunrise

with you

 

And if this wish were granted

this one wish with you,

I would want to be in your arms

as the sun rises

 

If while in your arms

we are watching the sunrise

you dare to give me a kiss,

I'll let you

 

You see, my one wish

is to be in your arms on a beach

watching the sunrise

with you

~ Julie Hayes, 2013

2013 is off …

…to an interesting start.

It’s been weird adjusting to life without my dad. I miss him every day. Last week was especially difficult for me. I went on a short vacation to visit a dear friend, someone whom I have loved for many years, and watching this man interact with his child made me miss my dad more. Don’t get me wrong, it’s good to miss daddy from time to time and last week was especially bittersweet. I really enjoyed my time there, even though at times I’m sure he didn’t think so, lol. It was a bit awkward as we hadn’t seen one another in a long time. But, I digress…

While there, I came to some realisations about myself. One of the biggest is one that will remain between me, him and God. The other big one was that I am craving to learn more from God. I have been trying to spend more time in my Bible (I have been informed that I need to get the King James Version and put away my NIV; which I will). I actually do enjoy the olde English better anyway, just a bit rusty at reading that translation.

For this reason, I have decided to make 2013 into my year. My year to delve deeper into my faith and understanding of God’s word. My year to make more changes in my personal growth mentally and physically. My year to become a better me and find my way back to the “fighting Irish” woman I once was. The “I don’t take no crap from anyone” woman. I will do this for myself. I will do this for God.

I am also reading a book called “Love and Respect” by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs. It was recommended and there is a workbook that accompanies it. For right now, I have the text. It is quite eye-opening a slap in the face. After reading the first chapter, I realised everything I did wrong in past relationships. I will strive to be more respectful in my actions and words. And when I am disrespectful, an apology will surely follow. I am glad he recommended this book (among others that will be on my must read for this year).

 

These are words to live by…

Every waking thought

My every waking thought

is of you;

I simply cannot shake.

I long to feel you

your breath on my skin

light caresses from your hands

lips pressed firm against mine.

 

My every waking thought

is of you.

I love the way you flirt

the twinkle in your eyes

the smile across your face

you make me feel like a girl;

I simply cannot shake.

 

My every waking thought

is of you.

I wonder if we can

or if we should

play with temptation;

I simply cannot shake

you from my mind.

Been sad too long…

So I decided to write a poem for today:

 

To Find Someone

 

The most difficult thing

In this world

Is to find someone

Someone that will love you

That will hold you when you’re sad

To wraps his arms around you

And just lay there all night long.

 

The most difficult thing

In this world

Is to find someone

Someone that you can lean on

That shows he cares

In the simplest of ways.

To just sit there next to you

And just listen as you cry.

 

The most difficult thing

In this world

Is to find someone

Someone that is meant for you

That you can connect with

Both intimately and intellectually

And just be.

 

The most difficult thing

In this world

Is to find my someone…

 

9 June 2011

******************************************

That about sums it up. I am more ready than ever to take that next step in my life. I have fears of being alone and I am certain these fears are amplified because of my dad’s illness. I don’t think he’ll die tomorrow or next year, but I also know his day will come. I have spent a lot of time and tears over the past few weeks over this issue in my life. Thinking about what I need in my someone, what I want. Ideally, I want the fairytale ending. Don’t we all!? As little girls we dream of our Prince Charming. I thought I found my Prince at one time, but he turned out to be a poisoned toad.

This is the kind of love I seek. I know it exists. I don’t think it’s asking too much. Well, enough on that! Gonna try to have the patience to allow God to do His will.

Thanks for hopping by…

Senses

Senses

It is so easy to give in

I’ve wanted to give in

For so long, even though

I know what the

Consequences would be

Temptation is there

And extremely hard to resist

The scent smells so sweet

The touch, so divine

If only I could taste

Of the fruit

Then the senses

Would be complete

July 26, 1993