10 May 2012

Really?! Are you freaking kidding me?!!

If you want comedy relief, please join my family! I mean, I thought I knew some people quite well but I am learning that I really don’t. I don’t know when I have ever been around family members who are in such a rush to “get it done”. I mean c’mon! Do you really think it’s the right time to think about making a big move when you are not divorced yet and you are about to lose your job and you are not financially stable?! REALLY?!?! Maybe I just need to vent right now, but I am so sick of people thinking that they need to rush into everything. STOP, TAKE A BREATH and for crying out loud GET YOUR FREAKING LIFE TOGETHER!!!

And the other one. I mean REALLY!?!? You really think that you aren’t pushing me away?! You choose a guy over your family. You tell me to call anytime and we can talk but when I do you are constantly distracted by him or other people around you. And I am trying to keep it together for myself. Did you really think I wouldn’t take to heart the things you told me last year as we began to get close? Are you kidding me when you say that you won’t let a man come before God? Well, you have done just that! Yeah, I said it!! Don’t get me wrong. I am happy that you found someone that treats you like a princess, but SERIOUSLY!?! And you don’t want me to give you crap over it when I was just KIDDING! GROW UP!! The world does not revolve around you, nor does it around me!

I am a woman of God! No MAN is going to come between me and my GOD or my family. I never have allowed for that and never ever will. If you read this, I am sorry if it hurts you but you gotta know that it pains me to know that I feel like I am losing certain people in my family. No MAN is going to suggest that I move knowing full and well that I just got into a place and can barely make ends meet. No MAN is going to offer me money to get things taken care of when I know I can’t repay him. I will simply say “No Thank You”. I really don’t think that GOD wants me to become so dependent on other people that I can’t think for myself and am constantly making bad decisions in my life. I could be wrong and that means He really has a great sense of humor. He must have. He put me in the family that I am, lol!

All bitchiness aside, I am truly thankful for my family. I wouldn’t trade them in for anything. I just need to be wiser about how I deal with them I guess. I mean, I am truly tired of playing second fiddle to every single person that I once held so close to my heart. I know that I need to find my own life. After being alone for so many years, it is really difficult. When I have put my trust in someone, it has been stomped on (like last summer and the way a certain person acted toward me). But I just gotta say, this family truly is comedy relief for me.

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